In Honor of National Adoption Month

I was asked to give a talk in church today on Gratitude. Here is an excerpt from my talk. It isn't my whole talk, but the intro and our adoption story. Since it is National Adoption Month, I thought I would share it on my blog. And what a better thing to be grateful for than adoption?

I was asked to speak today on Gratitude. While pondering about this talk, I felt impressed to talk specifically about gratitude for our trials.

Everyone has gone through trials in their lives. It is how we grow, progress and learn empathy for others. President Howard W. Hunter observed: “Life—every life—has a full share of ups and downs. Indeed, we see … many blessings that do not always look or feel like blessings” End Quote

We hear a lot about being grateful for our blessings; however it is usually in times of despair that we turn to our Heavenly Father and grow closer to him. It is usually in our times of trial that we are able to feel His presence and comfort and love most strongly. It is usually in times of trial that our friends and family and sometimes even strangers lift us up and show us the greatest kindness.

It is difficult to be positive while going through trials, especially challenging ones. But as our faith and testimony grow, we learn to trust in our Heavenly Father, and even though the trials may linger, the pain is lessened as The Savior carries our burdens and makes them lighter.

I also felt impressed to share a specific story from my life. How my greatest trial turned into my greatest blessing.

Jason and I were married in 2004. We both wanted a large family and after being married for about a year we decided that we were ready for our family to grow. We thought it would be easy. I mean, Heavenly Father wants us to multiple and replenish the Earth right? And we were happy and willing to do so. But it turned out that it wasn’t easy after all. We were devastated.

We prayed and pleaded with the Lord to give us the children that we dreamed of. We sought spiritual relief, but church was the hardest place to go. Seeing so many families and having a new pregnancy being announced or a baby blessed every week made it difficult to even come.

After over a year of grief and yearning, we were told by a specialist that it wasn’t likely that we would ever have biological children, but that there was one other option that we could try. It was expensive, and the success rate wasn’t very high. We were desperate to try anything; not ready for our dreams of a family to come to an end.

We decided to fast and pray and then go to the temple about it. Both of us had to work that day so we didn’t get to talk about our feelings throughout the day until we were at the temple. When we were able to talk, we both looked at each other and said, “we are supposed to adopt”. I have to admit, that at the time I wasn’t thrilled about this concept. I didn’t really know anything about adoption.

But we knew that this was the plan that Heavenly Father had for us and our family and so we applied for adoption through LDS Family Services. The paperwork took about 7 months to complete. During that time, we prayed for the birth parents of the baby that was supposed to come to us. We prayed that they would have a spiritual confirmation and that they would know when they saw us that we were the family for that child.

Before our paperwork was complete I had a dream of a beautiful baby girl about 2 months old, she was dressed in white, swaddled in blankets and sleeping on our bed. When I woke up, I told Jason that we were getting a baby girl in December. I just knew it.

A week after we were approved we received an email from a birth mother. She was only three months pregnant, so she didn’t know the gender of the baby, but she was due in December. Things progressed very quickly and we all knew that this baby was meant to be a part of our family.

We were able to bring home our daughter from the hospital and it was bittersweet. The birth mother had just faced the most difficult decision of her life, but she knew what the Lord wanted and what she wanted for this baby. Though the situation was hard for her, she became active in the church again, married to a nice young man and is currently expecting a little girl of her own. And Jason and I were blessed with a beautiful baby girl; an absolute miracle.

About two months after Laneah was born, she was taking a nap in our bed. She was dressed in white, and I was seeing my dream come to life in person. I couldn’t stop the silent sobs at the overwhelming thought of how much Heavenly Father loves me. He took two separate heart breaking situations: an infertile couple, and an unwed mother, and turn them into something miraculous and beautiful.

The pain of infertility was nearly unbearable, but if I had to do it all over again to get my daughter, I would. My greatest trial had indeed become my greatest blessing.

Through this experience I learned that Heavenly Father cares about every detail of my life. I know that He loves me and that he wants me to be happy. I know that even through my trials He is there for me, rooting for me and willing to help lift my burdens, even when he can’t take them away.

Now, when I am going through trials, although there is sometimes pain and sorrow, I do know that it will work out. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and he sees the bigger picture. He doesn’t always make the trial go away, but He helps me get through it and grow and learn from it.

I know that not all trials are the same, and not all of them come with miracles at the end. But I do know that we are tried for a reason and that if we learn from our trials, we can become more like Heavenly Father, which is, after all, our ultimate goal.